"Agnostics don't usually go to church [..]. That's part of the appeal"
-- George (6 Feet Under #47, 2004)
"I will stay on top of it to get to the bottom of it"
-- Condoleezza Rice (CNN, 22-Mar-2008)
"AD/HD. Back in bla... Oh look, a squirrel"
-- T-shirt print (The Video Games Show #2.28, 2007)
"Hi, you've reached David and Keith, but we can't come to the phone right now, becuse we're too gay"
-- David (6 Feet Under #43, 2004)
Frasier: "This is my brother, dr. Niles Crane, the eminent psychiatrist"
Niles: "My brother is too kind. He was already eminent when my eminence was merely imminent"
-- (Frasier #42)
"Where is Bart anyway? His dinner is getting all cold and eaten"
-- Homer Simpson (The Simpsons #158, 1996)
"We're not exactly what each other wants in a sexual partner [..] She wishes I looked a little more like Charles Bronson, and I wish she looked a little less like Charles Bronson"
-- Norm Peterson (Cheers #56, 1984)
"Life wants to be a mess"
-- Amy Gray (Judging Amy #52, 2001)
"What's the point of going out? We're just gonna wind up back here anyway"
-- Homer Simpson (The Simpsons #142, 1996?)
"The only difference between a black girl and a white girl is that when a black girls asks you if her ass looks big, you say 'hell yeah'"
-- Dr. Turk (Scrubs)
"I hit on 21 - that's the summation of my love life"
-- Bill Maher (Larry King Live, 14-Feb-2005)
"I never apologize! I'm sorry, but that's just the way I am"
- Homer Simpson (The Simpsons)
"I always thought religion is a lot like atomic energy"
-- Jon Stewart (Larry King Live, CNN, 09-Dec-2004)
"I'd love [to have] as many babies as I can get away with"
-- Colin Farrell (The Late Show with David Letterman, TV2 Zulu, 30-Nov-2004)
"Procrastinate now. Don't put it off"
-- Ellen DeGeneres (Ellen DeGeneres: Here and Now)
"Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped."
--Elbert Hubbard (1856-1915)
A fanatic is someone who does what he knows God would do if only the Almighty knew the facts of the case
Ed Masry: "What makes you think you can just walk in there and find what we need?"
Erin Brockovich: "They're called boobs, Ed"
-- Erin Brockovich (2000)
"If that woman ever packed her bags and left me, I don't know what I would do... first"
-- Norm (Cheers #22, 1983)
"You should try everything in life except incest and country dancing"
-- Stephen Fry (Parkinson, BBC Prime, 25-Jul-2003)
"If you can't say anything nice about anybody, come sit by me"
-- Clairee Belcher (Olympia Dukakis, Steel Magnolias, 1989)
"The problem with the american dream: Everyone's concerned for the day they're gonna be rich"
-- Jed Bartlet (Martin Sheen, The West Wing #48, 2001)
"I try to teach you tact, I just can't get through"
-- Andy Sipowicz (NYPD Blue #50, 1995)
"I am not the sort of fellow that blows his own horn, although if I could I certainly would!"
-- David Letterman (The Late Show with David Letterman, TV2 Zulu, 20-Mar-2002)
(Advertising the World Fencing Championships in Nimes, France)
"They say the pen is mightier than the sword. Not in France, it isn't"
-- Eurosport (26-Okt-2001)
"A little bit of pain never hurt anybody"
-- Soap (Lock, Stock And Two Smoking Barrels, 1998)
"People don't turn down money. It's what separates us from the animals"
-- Jerry Seinfeld (Seinfeld #10, 1991)
"Never believe anything until it has been officially denied."
-- Claud Cockburn
"The world is my lesbian wedding"
-- Chandler Bing (Friends #35, 1996)
"If less is more, just think how much more *more* would be"
-- Frasier Crane (Frasier #157, 1999)
"If you prick me - do I not leak?"
-- Data (Star Trek: The Next Generation #3, 1987)
(Explaining why Al Gore didn't manage to win Florida)
"The elderly have problems with soft pricks, Larry - you know that"
-- Bill Maher (Larry King Live, CNN, 06-Jan-2001 (CET))
(Add in the paper)
Wanted: Female roommate, nonsmoker, nonugly.
-- Joey Tribbiani (Friends #123, 1999)
"I have a degree from Harvard. Whenever I'm wrong, the world makes a little less sense."
-- Frasier Crane (Frasier #36, 1994)
"Never underestimate the power of denial"
-- Ricky Fitts (Wes Bentley, American Beauty, 1999)
"My friends ... have a liking problem with you in that they don't"
-- Phoebe Buffay (Lisa Kudrow, Friends #13, 1995)
"Friends! Rodents! Quadropeds! Lend me your ears!"
-- Ace Ventura (Jim Carrey, Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls, 1995)
"Life is the only thing that happens to me"
-- Woody Allen's Spitting Image (Spitting Image: The 1987 Academy Awards)
"Resistance is not futile?"
-- Third Of Five, Borg (Star Trek: The Next Generation #123, 1992)
"Time's fun when you're having flies"
-- Kermit the Frog (The Muppet Show)
"Don't you know you should never end a proposition with a sentence?"
-- Hawkeye (Alan Alda, M*A*S*H #203, 1980)
"I think, for once, this isn't a Windows problem"
-- PC Doctor (TechnoFile, Sky News, 20-May-2000)
"Well, I have studied abroad... or two"
-- Zapp Brannigan (Futurama #4, 1999)
Waitress: "We don't serve negroes"
Muhammad Ali: "I don't eat them either. Just give me a cup of coffee"
-- (Parkinson, BBC Prime, 26-Mar-2000)
"Did you hear about the Chinese godfather? He made them an offer they couldn't understand"
-- The Sopranos (TV2/Danmark, 02-Mar-2000)
"...I've taken a vow of celibacy. That also includes women"
-- Morse (Danny Webb, Alien 3, 1992)
"Is man one of God's blunders or is God one of man's blunders?"
-- Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
(Sign outside a club)
With liberty and justice for all. Members only.
-- Trading Places (1983)
"It wasn't really a lie. It was an incremental accumulation of half truths"
-- Nancy Clark (Goldie Hawn, The Out-Of-Towners, 1999)
"I have a penis and a brain and only enough blood to run one at a time"
-- Robin Williams (The Tonight Show, CNBC Europe, 18-Dec-1999)
Beavers: The biggest dam movie you ever saw
-- Image DVD News (01-Dec-1999)
"My boss is a dyslexic megalomaniac...he thinks he is dog"
-- Dilbert LOTD (28-Oct-1999)
"I don't know about you, but I intend to write a strongly worded letter to the White Star Line about all this"
-- Jack Dawson (Leonardo diCaprio, Titanic, 1997)
"You got to kiss ass just to get a piece of it"
-- Clay Boone (Brendan Fraser, Gods and Monsters, 1998)
"In the Beginning was the Word, and the Word was Aardvark..."
-- Bertbrett (?)
"These are just vegetables. They won't hurt you"
-- Joyce (Mary Kay Place, Pecker, 1998)
"Where there's a will, there's a relative..."
-- Allan McKillop (?)
There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want
-- Calvin (Calvin & Hobbes, 28-Aug-1988)
"Where is Bart... His dinner is getting all cold and eaten"
-- Homer Simpson (The Simpsons #158, 1996)
"Romance is dead. It was acquired in a hostile takeover by Hallmark and Disney who homogenized and sold it off piece by piece"
-- Lisa Simpson (The Simpsons)
"Arcades were pretty boring places before arcade machines were invented... Just big dark halls containing nothing except a man who would give you change of a fiver"
-- Graeme Nicholson (Play)
"It's your duty as a woman to say no. If women shook that responsibility, men would never get any work done"
-- Alex P. Keaton (Michael J. Fox, Family Ties)
"86.2% of all statistics are made up"
"I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it!"
(From a review of the movie 'Nixon' by Oliver Stone)
"He was a paranoid genious, driven mad by ambition and power - and that's just the director"
-- Barry Norman (Film '96, BBC World)
"Sex is hereditary. If your parents never had it, chances are you wont either."
-- Joseph Fischer
"One day you are the toast of college tennis, the next day you are toast on the pro tour"
-- Chris Woodruff
"There's a 4:30 in the MORNING now???"
-- Bart Simpson (The Simpsons)
"I am Homer of Borg. Prepare to... mmmmmmmm - donuts!"
-- Homer Simpson (The Simpsons)
"I am not young enough to know everything"
-- Oscar Wilde
"With me, you never know what is going to happen"
-- Goran Ivanisevic
"I have no sense of decency. That way my other senses are enhanced"
-- Bulldog (Frasier #74, 1996)
"Bon Jovi leading man Jon Bon Jovi is to play the leading man in 'The Leading Man'"
"Why my feet are so small? They grow in the shadows..."
-- Dolly Parton
"Sic transit Gloria Swanson"
-- Terry Wogan
"Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for ye are crunchy and taste good with ketchup."
"If we don't change direction soon, we'll end up where we're going"
-- Irwin Corey
"Brain: an apparatus with which we think we think"
-- Ambrose Bierce (The Devil's Dictionary)
"All substances are poisons; there is none that is not a poison. The right dose differentiates a poison and a remedy"
-- Paracelus (1493-1541)
"Non existent prandium gratuitum."
-- Fulminous Minor
